Finding Strength in Divorce: How My Journey Shapes the Way I Help Others
- Jodie Graham
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
When my 19-year marriage ended, I expected the road ahead to be difficult but nothing could have prepared me for the guilt, shame, and emotional weight that came with starting over. Divorce has a way of shaking everything you thought was certain — your routines, your finances, your identity. It’s painted as an ending, but for me, it became the beginning of something entirely new.
Facing the Guilt and the Chaos
The hardest part wasn’t the separation itself. It was the guilt.I worried endlessly about my children — how they would cope, what this would mean for their future, and whether they’d see me differently. I tried to protect them from feeling the loss by filling the gaps with things: new clothes, new furniture, new distractions. I told myself I was doing it for them, but the truth was, I was trying to soothe my own pain and shame.
Before long, I was deep in debt and facing a financial reality I hadn’t been prepared for. I had walked away from the marriage with little more than a few household items, debt and a mountain of responsibility. It was a humbling experience — but also a defining one.
Learning to Rebuild
I hit rock bottom financially and that season of my life forced me to create systems, not just for my money, but for my mindset.Every two weeks, I started tracking every expense, every paycheque, and every decision. Slowly, clarity replaced chaos. I learned firsthand that transformation doesn’t happen by accident — it happens through discipline and awareness.
As James Clear writes, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”Those systems changed my life.
From Personal Struggle to Professional Purpose
Two years later, I became a Certified Executive Coach through Royal Roads University. Coaching opened a door I didn’t know existed — a way to help others find clarity, courage, and direction when life feels unrecognizable.
My background as a CPA had already taught me the power of financial knowledge. During my divorce, that expertise became a lifeline. I was able to do my own projections, cost analyses, and scenario planning. Meanwhile, my ex-husband’s legal bills were nearly three times higher because he was relying on professionals to make sense of it all.
That realization changed everything.When a friend later asked for help with her divorce, I realized how many people go through this process feeling lost, scared, and financially vulnerable. I knew I could make a difference — not by giving legal advice, but by helping people understand their numbers, their emotions, and their choices.
The Heart Behind the Work
What started as one conversation turned into a calling.Divorce coaching and mediation became my way of turning pain into purpose — helping others move from overwhelm to empowerment. Today, I guide clients through decisions that shape their next chapter, ensuring they feel heard, respected, and informed every step of the way.
Whether I’m working with both spouses in mediation or one individual through coaching, my focus is the same: clarity, compassion, and confidence. I want clients to feel grounded in the process — not lost in it.
Money, Mindset, and Meaning
The part of my story that resonates most with clients is often the financial one.They ask, “Can I really afford this life on my own?”And I tell them, “Yes — with clarity, structure, and self-trust, you can.”
When I started tracking my finances and rebuilding my confidence, I wasn’t just paying off debt — I was reclaiming control over my life. That same process is what I now teach: small, consistent actions that create lasting stability and peace.
The Lessons Divorce Taught Me
Divorce taught me that empowerment doesn’t come from avoiding pain — it comes from walking through it with purpose.It taught me that happiness is a choice and that our future is shaped by the systems we build today.
I also learned the power of community. Three friends carried me through that time — one who encouraged me, one who challenged me, and one who simply listened. That support reminded me how essential it is to have someone in your corner. Now, I strive to be that person for my clients.
Making Divorce More Accessible
Helping people through divorce isn’t just my career — it’s my passion.I’ve seen how overwhelming this process can be, emotionally and financially. That’s why I intentionally keep my coaching and mediation fees at half the cost of traditional legal routes. Everyone deserves access to support, clarity, and guidance when they need it most.
Staying Grounded
Even now, I still use the tools that helped me heal — journaling to organize my thoughts, meditation to quiet my mind, and music to reconnect with my strength. (My personal anthem will always be “Roar” by Katy Perry.)
These small rituals keep me centred, and I share them with clients to help them find their own anchors in times of change.
Redefining Divorce
Divorce doesn’t have to be a battlefield. It can be a bridge — one that leads to a more authentic, empowered version of yourself.Through coaching and mediation, I help clients approach divorce with confidence, compassion, and clarity. My goal is to show that this transition can be the foundation for something better — a life filled with peace, purpose, and possibility.
A New Beginning: Finding Strength in Divorce
If you’re standing where I once stood — scared, uncertain, and unsure where to start — know this: your story isn’t over. Divorce may close one chapter, but it can open a far more beautiful one. With the right support, systems, and mindset, you can build a future that feels like your own. One rooted in strength, clarity, and self-trust.
Because sometimes, the end of a marriage is not the end of your story…It’s the beginning of your empowerment.
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