Are You Living by Design or by Default?

Have you ever looked up from your day, your week or your life and wondered, How did I get here?

Not in a dramatic, movie-moment kind of way. More like a quiet, internal nudge that whispers, This life doesn’t quite feel like mine.

You check all the boxes. You're doing the things you’re “supposed” to do. You’ve taken care of everyone around you, pushed through when it was hard, kept your head down when it felt easier to stay silent, and made sure things got done. But somewhere along the way, you started to forget what it was you actually wanted. Or maybe … you never really stopped long enough to ask.

That’s what living by default looks like.

The Default Setting

So many of us live our lives according to settings we didn’t consciously choose. Past conditioning, cultural expectations, inherited beliefs, and long-standing routines shape our days more than we realize.

You might wake up and immediately check your phone, dive into the day’s obligations, and move from task to task without taking a breath to ask: Is this how I want to be spending my time?

And then there are the deeper patterns, the way you avoid conflict because that’s how you were raised. The way you over-give in relationships because that’s how you’ve been taught to find your worth. The way you silence your desires because they’ve been labelled “too much,” “selfish,” or “impractical.”

None of this makes you wrong. It makes you human. But it also means that much of your life may be built on auto-pilot. That’s default living. It’s predictable, familiar… and often unfulfilling.

What Does It Mean to Live by Design?

Living by design means making intentional choices. It means pausing to evaluate whether your routines serve you, whether your values still align with the way you spend your time, and whether the life you’re living is one you actually want.

It doesn’t mean everything is perfect or easy. But it does mean that your life feels like yours. Authentically. Boldly. Purposefully.

When you live by design, you start to notice the quiet tug of your intuition and actually listen. You set boundaries not out of defiance but out of deep self-respect. You start asking better questions—not “What should I do?” but “What do I want?” and “What do I need?”

You stop performing. You start becoming.

The Invisible Weight Women Carry

This shift is especially profound for women, because we’re often the ones carrying invisible loads. Emotional labour. People-pleasing. Perfectionism. We’re praised for being selfless but punished for having needs. We’re told to speak up, but not too loudly. We’re expected to do it all but quietly, and preferably with a smile.

So we internalize those mixed messages. We shrink ourselves. We bury our dreams. We put others first, over and over again, until we don’t recognize ourselves in the mirror.

And when we do hit pause—when we feel overwhelmed, anxious, burnt out—we wonder what’s wrong with us.

There is nothing wrong with you. But the system you’re operating in might be long overdue for a reset.

Default Is Comfortable—Until It Isn’t

Here’s the thing: default feels safe. Predictable. Efficient. Especially when you're juggling career, caregiving, aging parents, or post-divorce identity shifts. It’s not bad. It's just that it keeps you exactly where you are.

But if where you are no longer aligns with where you want to go or who you want to be, then something has to change.

And real change doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in intentionally designed spaces that invite you to explore what’s been on your heart all along.

Enter: The “Empower You!” Retreat

This is why we created the Empower You! Retreat. To offer a space outside your regular life. A place where you don’t have to carry all the things. A few days carved out just for you—to breathe, reflect, reconnect, and begin the beautiful work of living by design.

This retreat isn’t about fixing you. You are not broken. It’s about returning to yourself.

It’s about asking powerful questions like:

• What stories am I still carrying that aren’t mine?

• What beliefs have kept me small or stuck?

• What would life look like if I honoured my needs?

• Who am I when I stop performing and start being?

  
  

You’ll be surrounded by a supportive community of women who are walking this path too. Women who are done with burnout, with pretending, with playing small. Women who are ready to rise—but on their terms.

Through guided workshops, transformative self-discovery, nourishing meals, and honest conversations, you’ll start to uncover what it means to live a life that reflects you…a life that you design. You’ll learn tools to help you shift from reaction to intention, from pressure to presence.

And most of all—you’ll remember that your life belongs to you.

What Living by Design Looks Like After the Retreat

Designing your life isn’t a one-time event. It’s a practice.

You’ll return home not with a perfect plan, but with clarity. A reset. A renewed sense of direction. You’ll have tools in your pocket, new perspectives in your mind, and community in your corner.

You may still have dishes to do, emails to answer, and schedules to manage—but the way you show up in your life will feel different. More grounded. More aligned. More you.

That’s the real transformation. Not escaping your life, but finally stepping into it.

Ask Yourself… Are You Living by Design or by Default?

If nothing changed in your life right now—no one asked more of you, no one changed their expectations, no circumstances shifted—could you honestly say you feel fulfilled? 

Ten years from now, if nothing in your life had changed, would you feel grateful for how you lived—or wish you’d made a different choice?

If the answer is no or different choices, that’s not failure. That’s an invitation. One you get to answer.

Because you deserve more than just surviving your life. You deserve to design a life that reflects your heart, your values, your joy, and your power.

Your Invitation Starts Here

This isn’t just a retreat. It’s a declaration.

That your time matters. That your needs matter. That your life is worthy of intention, attention, and design.

If you’re ready to pause, reset, and start living more consciously, more fully—then we’re holding space for you. The Empower You! Retreat is where that journey begins.

Come as you are. Leave as more of who you truly are.

 #LiveByDesign #WomenWhoRise #EmpoweredRetreat #IntentionalLiving #EmpoweredCollaboration